Broken Doll

Today, for the first time in well over a year, I could feel almost normal. Almost happy. Relief and some small measure of peace that it turned out way way way better than I had hoped. For the first time in over a year, I feel that maybe things will eventually turn out okay. I was granted a small miracle — so perhaps another one is possible. I asked for a reason — any reason, if it couldn’t be him — and this is what I was given. A small piece of him, but more than I thought I’d get. Enough for now.

It’s only a first step, small in the grand scheme of things but so huge, so impossible in this moment. I cried in relief. In hurt too — it still hurts, but if it’s a choice between seeing him and hurting or being cut off and drowning in the blackness, I know which one I’ll choose.

Thank you goddess. I’m still sorting out what’s next. Please show me the path.