Broken Doll

And along my nerve endings. That’s as good a way to describe it as any. There is a lump of static-acid not-quite-pain, not-quite-nausea sitting in my chest, spidering out to my stomach, shoulders, arms, thighs. Sometimes it gets so bad that I get flushed and hot, I sweat, I pant for breath, just sitting in my chair. A week later it’s usually faded, but it’s not going away now. It’s constant, energy-sucking. I want to throw up. I want to lie down. Neither happens so I might as well be at work and miserable as at home and miserable — no difference.

I want it to stop. This isn’t just feeling “run down.” I feel sick.