Broken Doll

The only reason I’m not right now is because it would be too much of a hassle to explain it to two dozen medical workers tomorrow.

And if it’s bad news then maybe it’s just time to lay my burdens down. I’m not ready to pick up this fight again, to watch myself waste away. Maybe this is just my time, and it’s about time I accepted it with grace.

It would, after all, make things a lot less complicated. If I missed the road sign the first time around, I should probably give it a good hard look the second time. Maybe it’s time to stop being so damn stubborn and scared, and just make sure I’ve said good-bye to everyone I need to.

And god I want to carve the pain out of my flesh and make it stop. It’s dark down here and it hurts and I just want to let the blood loose to wash it away.

please please please please please