“It sounds like he was scared”
Kat :: 9:50 pmIt sounds like he was scared off by how serious it was getting, and was looking for an excuse…
It’s not like it was the first time the thought had crossed my mind. But you think these things and immediately shout it down as just the internal rantings of the bitter ex-girlfriend.
So someone else says it, and maybe it’s not so crazy a thought after all.
But where in hell does that leave me? Both ultimately wanting the same thing, but never getting it together because of… what? bad timing? pride?
Can it be that stupid? Are we just dancing around each other? Am I supposed to just wait it out? What?
It’s a stupid fucking reason to leave. How can you just walk away from something you want because you’re afraid to have it?
I keep waiting for the shift. Any shift. It keeps not happening.
A week ago I went to bed telling myself to sleep and that by morning I wouldn’t want to be dead. The next morning I woke up kicking myself for not just doing it the night before.
I’m trapped in a tiny plexiglas box watching everyone else having wonderful lives that I can’t be a part of. that I’m deliberately excluded from. that I can’t even touch. that I certainly can’t have.
how long do you expect me to wait?